Open Letter to Frito-Lay, Regarding Grandma's Homestyle Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

I applaud the latest trend in showing Nutrition Facts as they really are, instead of saying silly things like "Servings per container: 3.14." (Hey, I like pi as much as the next guy, but who gets the ".14" serving?) Today, while looking at the pack of cookies I bought from the evil genius known as "vending machine," I noticed that a two-pack of cookies is meant to be two servings. I don't know about you, but no one in my office is sharing these things.

What really left me scratching my head, though, is your statement that one cookie has 150 calories, but two cookies have 290 calories. My math skills aren't all that, but how do you take 150 plus 150 and squish it to 290? Which cookie is the bigger of the two? How many cookies do I need to eat for this to qualify as a diet food? (Okay, I did admit that my math skills are lacking, so maybe there's a flaw in my logic, but -10 calories times 10 means I should be able to eat 10 packs and call it even, right? No?)

I've said it before, but I'll say it again - you need a warning on these packages!!! What's better than a nice, warm cookie with your afternoon coffee? The vending machine is conveniently located next to the microwave. Are you seeing where I'm going with this? From the outside, it looks like a normal, plastic wrapper. Like most vending machine snack foods come in. But open it up, and it's...foil!? News flash: Plastic-coated foil wrappers are not microwavable, and cookies with a spider web of metallic shrinky-dink embedded in them are not particularly tasty. Been there, done that (not today, but I'm still appalled that you don't have a warning on the wrapper) - I don't recommend it.

In typing this (and double-checking to be sure there's no warning label printed in itty-bitty 2-point type somewhere in the crease of the packaging) I see that these were "Guaranteed Fresh" until...today. Good job. I think they still were (and even if they weren't, they were pretty tasty), but that's cutting it awfully close!! Whew.

Regards,
Holly


P.S. I tried submitting this on the fritolay.com site, and got "We're sorry. Your form cannot be submitted at this time due to a system error. Please try to submit your form again later." Is that the high-tech version of a postage-stamp-sized complaints box?