Boot Camp
Three were about twenty of us in all - twenty suckers who'd signed up for the 8 AM "Boot Camp" session at 24 Hour Fitness. On a Saturday. I started having flashbacks to middle school and P.E. class, and had this sudden urge to run - out the door and back to my car. I looked around the room and saw nothing but friendly, smiling faces. None of those snotty Seventh Grade girls to torment me. Deep breaths... Okay. I'm 45; middle school is over. I chose to stay.
So I'm laying on a mat, next to this muscular young man (my personal trainer's husband) who is obviously in great shape - thinking, "This could suck," when I notice he's covered in a sheen of sweat and he's huffing and puffing almost as much as I am. "You know, somehow this helps," I told him.
"Yeah, this is tough! I did it last night, too."
Well, crap. "Dude, you totally ruined the effect, saying this is your second session in less than 24 hours."
"No, really, it's a workout. It's hard for me, too."
I opted out of anything that involved pounding the balls of my feet against the basketball court's wooden floor. But I was able to keep up with most of the rest. Not too bad. I did tae kwon do kicks and stretches while the others did ladders and jumping exercises. Planks and triceps workouts have caught up with me, several hours later - my upper arms and shoulders are beginning to scream, "What the heck did we ever do to you?"
For good measure, I burned another 150 calories walking the treadmill (3.2 mph/incline 10 - mostly).
The subsequent endorphin rush has left me calm, slightly sleepy, and focused. I couldn't care less that I'm in pain. This, kids, is the only "high" you should ever aim for - it's a healthy one.
Here's the bodybugg™ summary for week one:
My Favorite Fitness Equipment
No, not the treadmill. Certainly not those stair climbers; I still have fantasies of buying one, only to grab a sledgehammer and beat the crap out of it. Not the weight machines. Not even my new toy, the bodybugg™. Nope, it's my .mp3 player. Loaded with music in the right tempo, it makes any workout go faster and better.
I'm about to change it up, but my current workout playlist includes the following:
- Jesus Walks (Kanye West)
- Citizen Soldier (3 Doors Down)
- Do You Wanna Touch Me(Joan Jett)
- I Hate Myself for Lovin' You (Joan Jett)
- The Time Warp (various, from Rocky Horror Picture Show)
- Hey Mama (Black Eyed Peas)
- Money (various)
- Tainted Love (Soft Cell)
- DotA (Basshunter)
- Strawberry Gashes (Jack Off Jill)
- If It Makes You Happy (Sheryl Crow)
- A Change Will Do You Good(Sheryl Crow)
- Four Strong Winds (Ian & Sylvia) - Cool Down
- Un Canadien Errant (Ian & Sylvia) - Cool Down
Voice majors, take note: After an intense workout (with plenty of huffing, puffing, and deep breathing), I'm able to hit notes I haven't hit in twenty-five years. The effect lasts exactly as long as it takes my muscles to cool down and tighten up, or for me to start in with my usual shallow breathing. But if I could belt 'em out like this all the time, I'd roll the car windows down more often.
Oh, I know that someone from 24 Hour Fitness in California is reading this blog (it shows up in the stats) - so pass this along to the higher ups:
STOP MAKING US WATCH FOX NEWS ON TV!!!!
For every bank of three TVs, we have two tuned to ESPN (naturally - it's a SPORTS club) and one tuned to FOX "News." I vote we tune in to CNN, instead. I don't know that any news outlet could be said to be unbiased or strictly fact-based, anymore, but CNN seems a little more balanced than most. Certainly less unhinged than some. I'd settle for the LOCAL news. But Fox? That's just offensive. If the National Enquirer had a TV station...



